asmythoughtschange

Daily situations resulted in this blog.

If he were mine…

I talk to him as often as possible, though its not right. The sound of his voice makes me want him like crazy. I imagine the shape and movement of his lips as my name rolls off his tongue. What would it be like to have this man whispering in my ear? The things he says through the phone, would it sound the same if he were with me? Am I crazy for wanting someone I’ve never met? Something about his tone, his accent, his words, and his voicemails to me….

Meeting someone for the first time not knowing what to expect, other than what you’ve been told. Everything isn’t always as it seems. Thinking you have a complete package in one. Just knowing this is it!   ….and then….WOW!!! there he is, kinda tall, dark skinned, slim, bowlegged, smooth skin, eyes are just as I imagined, his mouth is perfect, his lips put me in lust,  waves on point, he gets closer…then in that first hug, I reach around I can feel this amazingly deep dip in his back, my head on his chest, and through this first hug, I feel his heartbeat. At that moment it felt too good to be true…

Going to my place, I giggle like a little girl who has her first crush. Wanting to say so many things, sweaty palms, heart racing, nervous, wondering, “What does he think of me? What’s on his mind? How far will this go? Is this what I want? Am I what he wants? Are we getting in over our head?” So many things in thought. Trying to hide my nervousness, though its so obvious… I have no idea what to talk about. On the phone there’s so much to say, but once face to face…a giggly mute girl. Thinking to myself, damn this man is sexy. His voice was just as wonderful in person as over the phone. I must admit though, it was more intriguing on the phone not knowing how it would be side by side.

Welcoming balloons covered my ceiling as we entered. It was almost as if he’d left for a little bit and returned home. Was this reality, was this really happening? “How did phone conversations and emails come to this? Could he be the man of my dreams? Is there something he’s hiding? Is this fate? Are we meant to be?” As I go back to questioning myself again. Snapping out of it…enjoying him here after all the conversations, he’s really in my domain…thinking some crazy thoughts now…kinda like my prisoner, no where to run, no where to hide. HE IS MINE! I want to take advantage of him and do as I please to him with no harm intended, listening to his words that flow, they flow through my body, sending chills to my brain driving every part of me insane, doing things unimaginable to anyone but me…

I still wonder if it was a fairytale. If it were meant to be. If we will be as one or was this a phase needed to build offspring. So much life involved. Love, hurt, tears (both happy and sad ones), happiness, sadness, hopes, dreams, and then the realities. In love with a man that first became a friend. Will my fairytale continue…making my friend, my love, my husband???

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01/22/2012 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

   

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