asmythoughtschange

Daily situations resulted in this blog.

Blind

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Living life with no vision
Only to search and listen.
Touching my way through
Prince charming where are you?
Help me to find my way
With so much to see each day.
Though blinded, no sight to see
Share your vision with me.
Let me fall in love with you
Express the beauty of your view.
If only we could love without sight
Blinded eyes shine bright.
Objects between us we share
Day and night don’t compare.
An unseen heart, though felt
Real love through unfair cards dealt.
True love I will one day find
I wish to see it blind…..

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12/28/2014 Posted by | poem, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A little Haiku

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Loved you with my heart
Just to give you everything
Til death do us part

07/08/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Appearance

Just a thought…

Do you ever look at some people and wonder what goes on in their life? An appearance can be deceiving, misunderstood, confusing, or just plain truth about someone. I seen someone and thought, “damn they got it together”, I was wrong. People have much game, in other words….lies, their appearance along with their words can be mistaken for what and who they really are. Bad thing is, you try to believe people and not always think the worst, but what’s shown…the worst. Then we’re left stereotyping, or not trusting, which can lead to problems.

I’ve been a bad judge of character, but, I can sometimes look right through the bullshit. Eyes are an obstacle, I can’t always get through. They say you can see someone is lying through their eyes, but a compulsive liar will look you in your eyes and make you believe their lies as much as they do.

Women carry themselves a certain way, and they’re looked at for their appearance. Once you talk to some-eye opener, not what you thought. Some dress conservative, and you think, “ok, damn I wonder what kind of car she drives”?, and you look, its a wrecked Ford Taurus, where you’re thinking it would have been a Lexus. Or maybe its the other way around, she’s looking trashy, and she’s rolling in an Escalade on 28’s. And then there’s the men…oh I love this, he passes you by at the store smelling so good, looking nice, appears to have it together and you think, (damn, maybe he’s the one, good job, dresses nice, fine, and he has no ring on his finger), but, yes but he’s got a woman he’s shacking with, and has kids, his job isn’t the greatest, and will still give you some play because he lured you in by his appearance and in the end, that’s all he’s really got. And then there’s the guy we think has nothing, jeans, white T-Shirt crisp on the sleeves, like he just ironed it, long thick gold chain, with a few golds in his mouth, in the back of your mind, street pharmacist…not the type of guy you’d want around for fear of having to bond him out at some point. When in fact his appearance says that, however, he writes poetry, use sweet and he has his own business and started from nothing and building it from the ground up, and his appearance let’s you know he hasn’t forgotten where he came from, but he had dreams and followed through with them. Has no woman in his life, because he’s focused on his dream.

My job requires me to deal with people everyday and sometimes, well most of  the time, I try not to stereotype them, however it is so hard due to their appearance. In everyday life people have their own style, and some wish they were what they appeared to be or not how they appeared to be.

In love, appearance says a lot too. You can be with someone and appear to be so happily in love, but   you’re miserable and want out, but can’t, don’t know how, don’t want to hurt anyone so instead you hurt and stay in this, what appears to be happy relationship.

In my life I’ve shown sides that I’m not. I’ve appeared to be happy and stress free when I was lost and confused, hurt, felt unloved, but still held onto a facade of happiness.

Anyway, just felt the need to write about something and appearance was brought to my attention this morning.

Have a good day, and thanks for reading =)

05/17/2012 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Haiku #14

In a perfect world
Dreams would go beyond dreaming
Until then, sweet dreams

03/12/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

If he were mine…

I talk to him as often as possible, though its not right. The sound of his voice makes me want him like crazy. I imagine the shape and movement of his lips as my name rolls off his tongue. What would it be like to have this man whispering in my ear? The things he says through the phone, would it sound the same if he were with me? Am I crazy for wanting someone I’ve never met? Something about his tone, his accent, his words, and his voicemails to me….

Meeting someone for the first time not knowing what to expect, other than what you’ve been told. Everything isn’t always as it seems. Thinking you have a complete package in one. Just knowing this is it!   ….and then….WOW!!! there he is, kinda tall, dark skinned, slim, bowlegged, smooth skin, eyes are just as I imagined, his mouth is perfect, his lips put me in lust,  waves on point, he gets closer…then in that first hug, I reach around I can feel this amazingly deep dip in his back, my head on his chest, and through this first hug, I feel his heartbeat. At that moment it felt too good to be true…

Going to my place, I giggle like a little girl who has her first crush. Wanting to say so many things, sweaty palms, heart racing, nervous, wondering, “What does he think of me? What’s on his mind? How far will this go? Is this what I want? Am I what he wants? Are we getting in over our head?” So many things in thought. Trying to hide my nervousness, though its so obvious… I have no idea what to talk about. On the phone there’s so much to say, but once face to face…a giggly mute girl. Thinking to myself, damn this man is sexy. His voice was just as wonderful in person as over the phone. I must admit though, it was more intriguing on the phone not knowing how it would be side by side.

Welcoming balloons covered my ceiling as we entered. It was almost as if he’d left for a little bit and returned home. Was this reality, was this really happening? “How did phone conversations and emails come to this? Could he be the man of my dreams? Is there something he’s hiding? Is this fate? Are we meant to be?” As I go back to questioning myself again. Snapping out of it…enjoying him here after all the conversations, he’s really in my domain…thinking some crazy thoughts now…kinda like my prisoner, no where to run, no where to hide. HE IS MINE! I want to take advantage of him and do as I please to him with no harm intended, listening to his words that flow, they flow through my body, sending chills to my brain driving every part of me insane, doing things unimaginable to anyone but me…

I still wonder if it was a fairytale. If it were meant to be. If we will be as one or was this a phase needed to build offspring. So much life involved. Love, hurt, tears (both happy and sad ones), happiness, sadness, hopes, dreams, and then the realities. In love with a man that first became a friend. Will my fairytale continue…making my friend, my love, my husband???

01/22/2012 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Thoughts

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The kind of love you see and wish you had
The kind of man who makes you feel irreplaceable
The kind of relationship where there’s no question if that’s where you belong
Compliments that are felt as well as said
Kisses so passionate, nothing feels better
Love we dream of
A companion who will do any and everything to make you smile
Communication that only the two of you can share
Dreams you two made for the future
Cuddling, laughing, holding each other
Rings worn by both symbolizing a life together
Documents where his name was given
Hurt the other can feel
Happiness shared by two
A love that was meant to be
…where is it…
…where can it be found…

01/02/2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Is it too much to ask?

A beautiful man with an even more beautiful soul.
The proposal that’s unforgettable.
A love that’s undeniable.
A relationship where I KNOW my man has my back.
Complete trust in knowing its just me, not a number one, but the only one.
If I’m in need of compassion, my man knows it and knows how to console me.
Understanding.
Loving and forgiving.
A good father.
Giving and caring.
Willing to sacrifice when needed.
He will take a load off my shoulders sometimes.
Doesn’t mind cooking.
Caters to me.
Treats me like a queen.
Let’s the world know I’m his, and he’s mine.
A wedding that can’t be replaced.
A love that lasts forever!!!

I don’t ask for much. I want to be treated and made to feel like his queen. If I do as I should to make him feel like my king, why shouldn’t I get them same? Is it too much to ask?

12/23/2011 Posted by | Poetry, Sharing My Thoughts, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Feeling Poetry

Do you feel poetry inside yourself?

I feel it in his name
When he touches me
When I hear his ringtone
When I see his name
Through his masculine deep voice
I feel poetry

His pictures
With his baby growing in me
I feel his happiness
I feel his sadness
As well as his concerns
I feel poetry

When I’m listening to music
It makes me think of him
I listen to his problems
I’ve heard him in tears
Then too, I feel poetry

He’s expressed his dreams
hopes
aspirations
poetry
heart
love

He is poetic
He is amazing
He is my love
…With him…

I
   Feel
          Poetry!!!

12/20/2011 Posted by | Poetry, Sharing My Thoughts, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Trading places

Quiet, no care, concern
Hoping one day, for it to return
A nonchalant attitude
Changes a happy love, to a bitter mood
Ignoring is easy for some
In return…they can’t handle the outcome
Consequences we live with
“good things come to those who wait”
Is that just a myth
We hold onto dreams through our reality
Knowing things should’ve been done differently
Plans after plans
At what point do we take a stand
If the one you love, packed up and left without a trace
Never to be found, she couldn’t be replaced
How would it feel
To have lost a love that was real…

12/19/2011 Posted by | Poetry, Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Taking some action

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Dream, think, plan, plot, DO
Everyday I’m hustling…
Jackson, Grant, Franklin

11/30/2011 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Perfect Portrait

This portrait 

so crisp and clean

laid out just for me

every girls dream

her fantasy

                                         In time, comes reality

                                         of what could 

                                         and what will be….

                                         Through poetry

                                         my portrait speaking

                                         poetically

                                        Not that perfect portrait

                                        painted for me……

11/09/2011 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wanna Be

The poetry you write
Spend time thinking alone in your room at night
Your words, your thoughts, your heart
Where do you start?
Flowing through your ink
Is where I wanna be
Spending our days
….through expression in poetry
Memoirs of a broken man
To heal you, I’d do all I can
From dusk to dawn
My future with you,
I dwell upon
Hopes, dreams, love
All are you and where I wanna be
Various types of inspiration
Understanding now, ready to have conversation
When you’re published
I wanna be all you had wished
The woman to stand by you
No matter the struggle or fight you went through
Your love, companion, your best friend,
I wanna be with you
…til the end.

10/24/2011 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

It

              I write about it
               I talk about it
              I think about it
                   I want it
              I sacrifice for it
                    I give it
                  I expect it
                 I cherish it
                   I need it
             I dream about it
              I’m all about it
      It makes life easier for me
      It, for some is hard to say.

10/05/2011 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , | 2 Comments

Dreams and Aspirations.

At some point in our lives we all have a dream. Money, a perfect marriage, a best friend in your mate, true friends that stick by your side, a good job/career, successful business, or whatever, your dream is – having a strong support system is great.

All of the above have been things I’ve dreamed of, some not so successful, but others are still in the process.

This post is getting a thought out. I have a couple good, great friends who have listened to me cry. They have lifted my spirits and try to guide me away from harm. And for that I am thankful.

I’m 34 and I have a different Outlook on what I want for my life. Having strong people who support my decisions whether good or bad, is truly appreciated. I have shed many unnecessary tears and expressed much hate, knowing I’m not hateful, but full of love.

At any rate, I know that we go through obstacles in life for a reason, that has been told to me so much lately. As well as the saying “you’re not given more than you can handle”. I’m putting things together, gathering my thoughts, and collecting my memories as I continue to strive forward and work on my life. I’ve come pretty far and overcame a lot of hurt, so now its time to be happy.

I’m working on a homebased business that I’m giving my all to, I’m extremely excited about it and so far have gotten many ideas as to how to make it more successful. My friends as well as random people are really giving me some helpful insights. Again that support system is great!

My prayers will stay consistent as well as my faith for I know there will be some more obstacles in my way…. But “anything worth having, is worth fighting for”.

Have a nice day to all who took the time to read my thoughts.

08/26/2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment