asmythoughtschange

Daily situations resulted in this blog.

6 words

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A part of me misses you.

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07/03/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fallback Friday

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Friday nights mean nothing
phone on, but doesn’t ring
come Saturday, stressed and worried
then blow me up for apologies
claim to understand and know
that isn’t what actions show
instead I sit here and wait
for a call out of New York state
I could go out or make a call
trying to be strong through it all
lonely Friday night
wonders why I’m ready to fight
It’s called fallback for a reason
he falls back for the evening…

01/27/2012 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

If he were mine…

I talk to him as often as possible, though its not right. The sound of his voice makes me want him like crazy. I imagine the shape and movement of his lips as my name rolls off his tongue. What would it be like to have this man whispering in my ear? The things he says through the phone, would it sound the same if he were with me? Am I crazy for wanting someone I’ve never met? Something about his tone, his accent, his words, and his voicemails to me….

Meeting someone for the first time not knowing what to expect, other than what you’ve been told. Everything isn’t always as it seems. Thinking you have a complete package in one. Just knowing this is it!   ….and then….WOW!!! there he is, kinda tall, dark skinned, slim, bowlegged, smooth skin, eyes are just as I imagined, his mouth is perfect, his lips put me in lust,  waves on point, he gets closer…then in that first hug, I reach around I can feel this amazingly deep dip in his back, my head on his chest, and through this first hug, I feel his heartbeat. At that moment it felt too good to be true…

Going to my place, I giggle like a little girl who has her first crush. Wanting to say so many things, sweaty palms, heart racing, nervous, wondering, “What does he think of me? What’s on his mind? How far will this go? Is this what I want? Am I what he wants? Are we getting in over our head?” So many things in thought. Trying to hide my nervousness, though its so obvious… I have no idea what to talk about. On the phone there’s so much to say, but once face to face…a giggly mute girl. Thinking to myself, damn this man is sexy. His voice was just as wonderful in person as over the phone. I must admit though, it was more intriguing on the phone not knowing how it would be side by side.

Welcoming balloons covered my ceiling as we entered. It was almost as if he’d left for a little bit and returned home. Was this reality, was this really happening? “How did phone conversations and emails come to this? Could he be the man of my dreams? Is there something he’s hiding? Is this fate? Are we meant to be?” As I go back to questioning myself again. Snapping out of it…enjoying him here after all the conversations, he’s really in my domain…thinking some crazy thoughts now…kinda like my prisoner, no where to run, no where to hide. HE IS MINE! I want to take advantage of him and do as I please to him with no harm intended, listening to his words that flow, they flow through my body, sending chills to my brain driving every part of me insane, doing things unimaginable to anyone but me…

I still wonder if it was a fairytale. If it were meant to be. If we will be as one or was this a phase needed to build offspring. So much life involved. Love, hurt, tears (both happy and sad ones), happiness, sadness, hopes, dreams, and then the realities. In love with a man that first became a friend. Will my fairytale continue…making my friend, my love, my husband???

01/22/2012 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Two As One

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Now he wants to put on a ring
     a ring to remove the sadness I sing
Shouldn’t have come to this
     as frustrations explode, now I’m missed
Loved yesterday, today, and tomorrow more
     words & emotions expressed more now than ever before
Stopping me just in time
     Trying to get you out of my mind
Always know what to say
     to keep me from pushing away
No more empty promises or feeling mislead
     with this ring, I thee wed
Don’t need commitment if your search isn’t done
    please don’t bother if you’re not ready to be AS ONE….

01/18/2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Man’s best friend.

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If I were a dog
I’d be your best friend
I’d jump up and down when I hear you
Wag my tail excited to see you
Run around in circles waiting on you to come thru the door
Lay in your lap while you rub my stomach
If I were a dog, I’d be so loyal
I’d protect you
I lay next you and lick your face
Come to you when you pat your legs for me to come
Bark if someone came close to you
I’d bite someone to pieces if they hurt you
And then when its time for you to goto work
…I’d protect what’s yours…
Laying on the floor with my face in my paws….sad…waiting on you to come home….

01/08/2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Haiku #3

As time passes by
Memories are all that’s left
Time still passes by

01/08/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Bed You Made

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Once a whore, always a whore
continuing to look for more
the one you have isn’t enough
but you say you’re in love
Love is a game to some
but when they get played, they sit looking dumb
wondering what’s wrong
then sing the “I’m sorry” song
trust and believe, its all good
another will treat me as you should 🙂
letting go is what I do
all I wanted was to love you
I can’t love someone who is still looking
once its said and done, you’ll be a part of my scrapbooking
so keep searching for your trade
its your bed….you have made

12/28/2011 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hold Me

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Long arms wrapped around me
My head on your chest
Arms around your waist
Enjoying each second I’m with you
Listening to your heart beat
Missing this feeling of us
Being together
Imagining life with you
Til death separates us
Raising our kids
Happy
Loving each other
……
I miss you holding me

12/27/2011 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Empty

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Empty without you
My prayers will soon be answered
Emptiness, no more

12/22/2011 Posted by | Haiku, Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Trading places

Quiet, no care, concern
Hoping one day, for it to return
A nonchalant attitude
Changes a happy love, to a bitter mood
Ignoring is easy for some
In return…they can’t handle the outcome
Consequences we live with
“good things come to those who wait”
Is that just a myth
We hold onto dreams through our reality
Knowing things should’ve been done differently
Plans after plans
At what point do we take a stand
If the one you love, packed up and left without a trace
Never to be found, she couldn’t be replaced
How would it feel
To have lost a love that was real…

12/19/2011 Posted by | Poetry, Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I try

I try to write about different things
But
All I think of, is the love he brings
He occupies my heart
I hate it that were apart
You ever been so in love
That you don’t feel you express it enough
It’s easy to be faithful
For him…I’m thankful
I never run out of words to say
He lives in my mind everyday
I used to worry about being hurt by him
Now I think of things to do on a whim
This is a different kind of love for me
I want more of him, out of pure greed
Again, I try to write about different things
But I miss his love more than anything!!!

12/16/2011 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Cater to you

You give me a feeling I need
Which explains my loyalty
Loving you
It’s all I wanna do
If this love is real
You know how I feel
Nothing I won’t do
Just to please you
Anything I don’t know
I’ll learn, to show
Anything for you
– I’ll do
Things I’ve never done before
…keep loving me~I’ll give more
I’ll give you all of me
Doesn’t matter the need
Cooking, cleaning, washing your clothes
Pack your lunch, with love enclosed
After work, massage your back
..you don’t have to ask
Brush your hair, rub your feet
It doesn’t matter to me
Would you like me to dance for you
With music playing to set the mood
Unopened bottle of Bacardi Gold
Direct me if you like, I’ll do as I’m told
Nothing I won’t do to prove myself
I want you and nobody else.

12/14/2011 Posted by | Poetry, Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Loving you

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A Haiku won’t do
Inspiration comes from you
My lover and friend.

My blog is an omnibus directed to one
Self expression, an explosion
My love for him is immense
The way I act, its evident
Is it safe to love like this
How can this feeling exist
Consistently, I cleave to him
Thanking God through my own hymn
I wait day and night
For the moment we reunite…

12/14/2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Love

Just another day
Relaxing, watching tv
Thinking about him.

11/06/2011 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , | Leave a comment

Just A Thought

If I give you my address will you come by

I’m in need of cuddling for the night

I don’t know you, as you don’t know me

but you have this familiarity

no strings, no sex just hold and caress me

in this bed at night, I get lonely

long distance love is hard

to love another? I’m scarred.

This was only a thought

not worth it if I got caught.

As much as I want to love

he is all I think of.

The thought was there

to act it out, wouldn’t be fair.

 

 

10/31/2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | Leave a comment

Long Awaited

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Tonight was the night’

you would hold me tight

Laying next to me

rubbing your seed through my belly

your side of the bed so empty and cold

the “I love you” teddy bear, at night, I hold

I keep you close to my heart

and pray for the day were no longer apart

tears slide down my face

baby, come home, fill your space

I hate this

If I had one wish

you know what I’d wish for?

The first day at the airport!

That day will always be in my head

remembering, as tears hit the bed

Loving you at a distance

never had such persistance…

10/28/2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | 1 Comment

   

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