asmythoughtschange

Daily situations resulted in this blog.

November 12th

Who knew life could be this way
Thinking back, November 12th, that day
Excitement, anticipation, not sure what to expect…
Listening to his heart, impressed by his intellect
The look in his eyes when he spoke to me,
the feel of his hand, he held mine so softly.
The tone of his voice….
it was so easy to tune out the noise.
That day, I didn’t know I would love him
-didn’t realize he’d be the best of them.
I let him take the lead.
That’s how we started, him approaching me.
I love looking at this man.
For his happiness, I’ll do all I can.
The look of a savage, with a heart that’s mine,
he’s so amazing – all the time.
When he’s mad and not in the mood,
I just wanna caress his tattoos.
Watching him move,
so  perfect and smooth.
He makes me smile like a teenage girl
with a crush bigger than this world.
I can speak how I feel daily,
He’ll never know my heart really.
No questions, no doubts, no worries
no reason to ever feel leery.
He caught me at the right time
for the love from him, to the top I’ll climb.
As we love each other and grow
no telling where this thing could go.
Wanting to learn all I can
I wanna know this man better than the back of my hand.


12/12/2016 Posted by | poem, poetry, Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

11/28/15

an illusion of you…

11/28/2015 Posted by | Haiku, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blind

image

Living life with no vision
Only to search and listen.
Touching my way through
Prince charming where are you?
Help me to find my way
With so much to see each day.
Though blinded, no sight to see
Share your vision with me.
Let me fall in love with you
Express the beauty of your view.
If only we could love without sight
Blinded eyes shine bright.
Objects between us we share
Day and night don’t compare.
An unseen heart, though felt
Real love through unfair cards dealt.
True love I will one day find
I wish to see it blind…..

12/28/2014 Posted by | poem, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Six words

Spilled ink splattered across the table.

07/24/2014 Posted by | poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lusting…

image

Dirty daydreaming
That slick tool behind our lips
Invigorating

My eyes undress him
Looking from across the room
His body….nice….hard

Masculinity
My hand wrapped around his….well
I’m lusting for it

Can I have a taste
Arousing an explosion
Give me what I want

Your body, the heat
Strength under your skin pulls me
Making me want more…

07/23/2014 Posted by | Haiku, poem, Sexetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Useless

image

After everything, still alone. How much heartbreak is one person supposed to go through? So tired of crying for happiness. With each try comes a child, relationship failure, and left alone to figure it out. How is it I’m supposed to have faith and trust, but with each time, despite the trust, despite the faith there is an asshole there to bring pain to my heart?

How is it so easy to make children and walk out of their lives only to give indecisive answers to any question or want that they may have? How can a person continue to make children and leave each of them? Its a repetitive loser cycle. I could never just leave my children and live my life content. The kids need both of their parents. Sure it’s easy to find someone else to replace the absent parent, but its not completely fair to the children.

Excuses….don’t we all have them? The great thing about that is, when it’s something we really want, theres no excuse, we do it, get it, or whatever.

I have given up on love. I no longer want to love again. I don’t want another selfish, son of a bitch to think he can treat me however and expect me to be a good woman. F**k being a good woman. Being a good woman gets you cheated on, lied to, forgot about, used, taken advantage of, belittled, laughed at, put down, and left to raise kids alone.

I often wonder what is wrong with me, am I not skinny enough, and I not fat enough, is it because im not a black woman or a Spanish one, is it the excitement of being with a white girl, is it the disappointment, is it embarrassment, Is my hair long enough, is it too short, is it because I cant give everything, or is it because I give everything I have, is it because I want more, do I not want enough??

I just want to give up on everyone and everything. The depression is taking over. The tears slide over my cheeks to my pillow. Who would notice, who would know, who would care??

04/27/2014 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Taking on new thoughts

Heard all the excuses

some I’m sure were lies

unfortunately, now it deuces

a child to hold ties.

Our fairytale came to an end

long ago it was dead

space helped to mend

as I sleep alone in my bed.

New thoughts I think

new plans I make

the sadness had to sink

no more emptiness I’ll take.

Life is too short to waste

trying to be something I’m not

reality is a bitter taste

one day I’ll get the knot =)

12/08/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

image

If I had to pay
How would I know if its real
Pay the price for love?

Not interested
I, challenged with emotions
Will not pay a price.

Conditionally
My heart shows too much feeling
Love….I paid the price.

08/11/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A little Haiku

image

Loved you with my heart
Just to give you everything
Til death do us part

07/08/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One Wish

image

Introduction to
Avoidance of happiness
Once….I wished  for love

07/03/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

6 words

image

A part of me misses you.

07/03/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Stupid

image

I rant
I rave,

I give
I forgave,

Listened, heard
A speechless word

Loved..thick and thin
Your heart,  I’d win,

Settled, took what came
In the end, this game…..

Feeling stupid
FUCK CUPID.

06/11/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

image

Depressed, hurt, betrayed
Standing tall, despite the height
Yes, I’m still standing.

06/11/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

image

06/11/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Never Again

wpid-b-photo

The look in my eyes

to the curve of my thighs

You can look, search, and try

But another me…you’ll never find.

A heart full of love

With every word-away you shoved

Your love, all I thought of

Today, I’ve had enough

I smile big now

Confident – I remember how

Don’t confuse it with a scout

Taking it slow, not lookin for vows

Always tried my best

Stood out from the rest

Listened through your chest

Like a coward, you left the nest

Waited like a fool

Let you twist and turn me like a tool

Tried to sit and keep cool

I’ve drowned in a tear pool

Love can goto hell

My heart clammed up in a shell

This lil fairytale,

I lived to tell…..

One mans trash is anothers treasure

The next will be beyond measure.

06/08/2013 Posted by | Haiku, poem, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Changes. ..

image

I wonder in my mind
What is it you’ll find

A resemblance of me
No, never, but maybe

Will you be content
Or just to an extent

I needed you
How could you choose

…leaving… left…gone
lonely mornings at dawn

Can’t help but think
If this could change with a wink

Its not that easy though
Our loves at a plateau

05/24/2013 Posted by | poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Who

image

Who can I run to
To fill the void that was left
Replaceable…..you

05/23/2013 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

image

05/22/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Gone

image

Bedroom walls echo
Empty, alone, missing you
Whispers…. disappeared

05/22/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Forgotten

I’ve forgotten….

I’ve forgotten how it feels to be loved.

04/15/2013 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

%d bloggers like this: