asmythoughtschange

Daily situations resulted in this blog.

Stupid

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I rant
I rave,

I give
I forgave,

Listened, heard
A speechless word

Loved..thick and thin
Your heart,  I’d win,

Settled, took what came
In the end, this game…..

Feeling stupid
FUCK CUPID.

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06/11/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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Depressed, hurt, betrayed
Standing tall, despite the height
Yes, I’m still standing.

06/11/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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06/11/2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Never Again

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The look in my eyes

to the curve of my thighs

You can look, search, and try

But another me…you’ll never find.

A heart full of love

With every word-away you shoved

Your love, all I thought of

Today, I’ve had enough

I smile big now

Confident – I remember how

Don’t confuse it with a scout

Taking it slow, not lookin for vows

Always tried my best

Stood out from the rest

Listened through your chest

Like a coward, you left the nest

Waited like a fool

Let you twist and turn me like a tool

Tried to sit and keep cool

I’ve drowned in a tear pool

Love can goto hell

My heart clammed up in a shell

This lil fairytale,

I lived to tell…..

One mans trash is anothers treasure

The next will be beyond measure.

06/08/2013 Posted by | Haiku, poem, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Changes. ..

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I wonder in my mind
What is it you’ll find

A resemblance of me
No, never, but maybe

Will you be content
Or just to an extent

I needed you
How could you choose

…leaving… left…gone
lonely mornings at dawn

Can’t help but think
If this could change with a wink

Its not that easy though
Our loves at a plateau

05/24/2013 Posted by | poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Who

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Who can I run to
To fill the void that was left
Replaceable…..you

05/23/2013 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Six words….

I miss random I love yous…..

03/29/2013 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

6 words

…today I thought you would be…

11/12/2012 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Life

I
Just
Want
To
Scream,
Kick,
&
Cry!!

10/11/2012 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Been a while…

Good evening. I have so many thoughts in my mind, so many feelings flowing through my heart. I don’t know how to put this to words. Feeling…not blank, but blank. Emotions too embarrassing for posting.

A life, once wanted…
A love, once felt…
A void, never thought of…
Emptiness, indescribable…

I don’t know what the feeling is… A little too tired to try and figure it out.

Instead of dwelling on the emotional roller coaster, I’ve decided to follow my heart, make myself happy, and fulfill the dreams and wants I have. If love is involved, great! If love fails, well then it just wasn’t meant to be.

I can’t focus on any poetry. My mindset isn’t there. This was just a hello to all my followers, I’m still alive :), my poetry isn’t for the time being.

Thank you for reading. YOLO!!!

06/30/2012 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Appearance

Just a thought…

Do you ever look at some people and wonder what goes on in their life? An appearance can be deceiving, misunderstood, confusing, or just plain truth about someone. I seen someone and thought, “damn they got it together”, I was wrong. People have much game, in other words….lies, their appearance along with their words can be mistaken for what and who they really are. Bad thing is, you try to believe people and not always think the worst, but what’s shown…the worst. Then we’re left stereotyping, or not trusting, which can lead to problems.

I’ve been a bad judge of character, but, I can sometimes look right through the bullshit. Eyes are an obstacle, I can’t always get through. They say you can see someone is lying through their eyes, but a compulsive liar will look you in your eyes and make you believe their lies as much as they do.

Women carry themselves a certain way, and they’re looked at for their appearance. Once you talk to some-eye opener, not what you thought. Some dress conservative, and you think, “ok, damn I wonder what kind of car she drives”?, and you look, its a wrecked Ford Taurus, where you’re thinking it would have been a Lexus. Or maybe its the other way around, she’s looking trashy, and she’s rolling in an Escalade on 28’s. And then there’s the men…oh I love this, he passes you by at the store smelling so good, looking nice, appears to have it together and you think, (damn, maybe he’s the one, good job, dresses nice, fine, and he has no ring on his finger), but, yes but he’s got a woman he’s shacking with, and has kids, his job isn’t the greatest, and will still give you some play because he lured you in by his appearance and in the end, that’s all he’s really got. And then there’s the guy we think has nothing, jeans, white T-Shirt crisp on the sleeves, like he just ironed it, long thick gold chain, with a few golds in his mouth, in the back of your mind, street pharmacist…not the type of guy you’d want around for fear of having to bond him out at some point. When in fact his appearance says that, however, he writes poetry, use sweet and he has his own business and started from nothing and building it from the ground up, and his appearance let’s you know he hasn’t forgotten where he came from, but he had dreams and followed through with them. Has no woman in his life, because he’s focused on his dream.

My job requires me to deal with people everyday and sometimes, well most of  the time, I try not to stereotype them, however it is so hard due to their appearance. In everyday life people have their own style, and some wish they were what they appeared to be or not how they appeared to be.

In love, appearance says a lot too. You can be with someone and appear to be so happily in love, but   you’re miserable and want out, but can’t, don’t know how, don’t want to hurt anyone so instead you hurt and stay in this, what appears to be happy relationship.

In my life I’ve shown sides that I’m not. I’ve appeared to be happy and stress free when I was lost and confused, hurt, felt unloved, but still held onto a facade of happiness.

Anyway, just felt the need to write about something and appearance was brought to my attention this morning.

Have a good day, and thanks for reading =)

05/17/2012 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A letter to Love

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Love, on you, I’ve given up
          I tried to know you
          Tried to feel you
          I failed.
Love, I wish I never met you
          The way you make people feel
          its not fair
          although you are worth experiencing
Love, what have I done to you
          why do you treat me like you do
          are you worth my tears
          many tears I’ve cried for you
Love, I understand why people shy away
          why people run and hide
           the way you make people feel,
may not be worth the ride
Love, I’ve loved how I wanted to be loved
          but something about you
          I don’t do enough of
          so with you, I’m giving up…

          

05/11/2012 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Free

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Releasing the lock
breaking free, the chains that bind
I’ve loved, and I’ve lost

05/08/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sometimes I wonder…

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Do you know what it takes to keep me
the fights, the cries, thru hidden realities
sometimes I wonder…
Do you think about me, how I do you
adapted thoughts, and no clue
sometimes I wonder…
Is there more of you I don’t know
you’re quiet, silent, your thoughts don’t show
sometimes I wonder…
Is this love strong enough to last
will we explain us as a past
sometimes I wonder…
Does your heart belong to me
if so, its hard to see
sometimes I wonder…
Am I woman enough for you
will you ever look for something new
sometimes I wonder…
If I should be doing more
life with you is all I want to explore
sometimes I wonder…
What would you do if you lost me
would our love carry you through tragedy
sometimes I wonder…
Why do I feel so alone
I was promised love would be shown
sometimes I wonder…
Are you the man God had for me
are we to walk together in Christianity
sometimes I wonder…

05/08/2012 Posted by | Poetry, Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Jealous

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I wish I were her
that woman, that lady, that girl
the one who occupies your mind
that one whom you’ll always find time
the one you dream of
her, the one you love
that woman you want
never embarrassed to flaunt
the lady you think about
that one who feels your love, without a doubt
the girl who has your heart
your canvas, she’s picture perfect art
the woman you’re so proud of
giving her your love, never enough!

05/03/2012 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Haiku #15

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His eyes big and brown
Peaceful sleep, smiles throughout
I love my lil man…

03/19/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I’ve waited for this

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Our bodies locked
You on bottom, I’m on top
Looking in your eyes
Heat exploding from my insides
Your legs wrapped around me
Squeezing tightly
My hands on your head
You’re here, just like you said
Hold me closer, don’t let go
Tell me you want me, let it show
I’ve waited for this, for so long
Your body, masculine and strong
I love you
And I need to express how much
….I do!

02/10/2012 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Haiku #10

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Made a wish for you
Never thought it could come true
I wished to have you

02/08/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This mornings thoughts…

In life, as we grow we make mistakes. Some of us learn from them. And some don’t. I’ve noticed that some people will settle, just for the sake of feeling loved. Love is supposed to be an amazing feeling. The best part of love for me is knowing its  genuwine. However at one time, I wasn’t sure if real love would ever make its way to me. I thought maybe I asked for too much.

After an incident that occurred yesterday, I’ve learned I can be someones biggest threat because of the woman I am, the love I give and display or have displayed in the past. After you have been hurt and done so wrong and still can continue to love with your all and no bitterness…it says a lot. People can mistake no tolerance for bitterness though. One person can only tolerate so much being done to them before a wall has been built. It is up to the next to care enough to break it down and get inside. It’s not ok to break the barriers, feel like you have won, to give that person a reason later on to build a thicker wall with more stability and structure that makes it impossible to break down again.

People make mistakes through patterns. Women, we complain about going through issues with men, but its a pattern or a cycle, we choose the same type of men or we feel we need more than one man to compensate what another lacks. Or we as people tolerate the same crap from others, because we don’t realize or care to recognize the pattern. Men, you complain all the good women are taken or you can’t find one. A pattern as well, maybe you are attracted to the same type of woman, maybe you feel you need more than one woman, whatever the case is, if we’re tired of the same PATTERNS we have to acknowledge them and change them.

Yesterday is gone, we cannot take back anything done or said from yesterday. Today is here, live right and love the one you desire from this day forward. Tomorrow is not promised, don’t regret your today…tomorrow.

Felt the need to express this. Comments are welcome. God bless and have a beautiful day.

12/10/2011 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

   

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