asmythoughtschange

Daily situations resulted in this blog.

11/28/15

an illusion of you…

11/28/2015 Posted by | Haiku, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Six words

Spilled ink splattered across the table.

07/24/2014 Posted by | poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Been a while…

Good evening. I have so many thoughts in my mind, so many feelings flowing through my heart. I don’t know how to put this to words. Feeling…not blank, but blank. Emotions too embarrassing for posting.

A life, once wanted…
A love, once felt…
A void, never thought of…
Emptiness, indescribable…

I don’t know what the feeling is… A little too tired to try and figure it out.

Instead of dwelling on the emotional roller coaster, I’ve decided to follow my heart, make myself happy, and fulfill the dreams and wants I have. If love is involved, great! If love fails, well then it just wasn’t meant to be.

I can’t focus on any poetry. My mindset isn’t there. This was just a hello to all my followers, I’m still alive :), my poetry isn’t for the time being.

Thank you for reading. YOLO!!!

06/30/2012 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Making some repairs…

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Holes in the wall
…your words…
I’ve heard them all

Photographs of happiness
…cracked…
not what we’d wished

Home, once full of love
…silence…
Love wasn’t strong enough

Missing what we had
…us…
Now turning bad

Wondering what to do
…separated…
Almost through

Holding onto what
…a love?…
I want to trust you, but…

One thread at a time
…happiness again…
We will find.

06/05/2012 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shattered

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Like broke glass, shattered
with what was once filled with…love
photographs, no more

Torn between the two
should you stay or should you go
Is your heart now lost?

Don’t know how or when
trying to gather pieces
only time can tell.

I will love again
Love for you has never left
my actions will speak.

Chosen words were wrong
memories of history
accusations hurt

Losing a feeling
conversation of the past
I don’t want to be!

The house, the plans, us
raising our family…
can it be repaired?

Do we continue
Holding on to shattered love?
Is hope really lost?

05/30/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Hope may be lost #9

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Miles apart, we
faith and belief, you and me
long distance love, us

Poetry I’d write
expressing my love for you
hurt and anger too

Believing in you
hearing what you claimed to be
T~R~U~T~H

Love….I wanted you
living the life we had planned
life, was about you

Lost in emotions of…love
broken, cracked, not forgotten
I’ve doubted, why me?

Hurt turned to anger
communication’s broke down
at times… I don’t care

LOVE…happiness…HOPE
trust re-established for love
Where do we begin?

05/25/2012 Posted by | Haiku, Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Appearance

Just a thought…

Do you ever look at some people and wonder what goes on in their life? An appearance can be deceiving, misunderstood, confusing, or just plain truth about someone. I seen someone and thought, “damn they got it together”, I was wrong. People have much game, in other words….lies, their appearance along with their words can be mistaken for what and who they really are. Bad thing is, you try to believe people and not always think the worst, but what’s shown…the worst. Then we’re left stereotyping, or not trusting, which can lead to problems.

I’ve been a bad judge of character, but, I can sometimes look right through the bullshit. Eyes are an obstacle, I can’t always get through. They say you can see someone is lying through their eyes, but a compulsive liar will look you in your eyes and make you believe their lies as much as they do.

Women carry themselves a certain way, and they’re looked at for their appearance. Once you talk to some-eye opener, not what you thought. Some dress conservative, and you think, “ok, damn I wonder what kind of car she drives”?, and you look, its a wrecked Ford Taurus, where you’re thinking it would have been a Lexus. Or maybe its the other way around, she’s looking trashy, and she’s rolling in an Escalade on 28’s. And then there’s the men…oh I love this, he passes you by at the store smelling so good, looking nice, appears to have it together and you think, (damn, maybe he’s the one, good job, dresses nice, fine, and he has no ring on his finger), but, yes but he’s got a woman he’s shacking with, and has kids, his job isn’t the greatest, and will still give you some play because he lured you in by his appearance and in the end, that’s all he’s really got. And then there’s the guy we think has nothing, jeans, white T-Shirt crisp on the sleeves, like he just ironed it, long thick gold chain, with a few golds in his mouth, in the back of your mind, street pharmacist…not the type of guy you’d want around for fear of having to bond him out at some point. When in fact his appearance says that, however, he writes poetry, use sweet and he has his own business and started from nothing and building it from the ground up, and his appearance let’s you know he hasn’t forgotten where he came from, but he had dreams and followed through with them. Has no woman in his life, because he’s focused on his dream.

My job requires me to deal with people everyday and sometimes, well most of  the time, I try not to stereotype them, however it is so hard due to their appearance. In everyday life people have their own style, and some wish they were what they appeared to be or not how they appeared to be.

In love, appearance says a lot too. You can be with someone and appear to be so happily in love, but   you’re miserable and want out, but can’t, don’t know how, don’t want to hurt anyone so instead you hurt and stay in this, what appears to be happy relationship.

In my life I’ve shown sides that I’m not. I’ve appeared to be happy and stress free when I was lost and confused, hurt, felt unloved, but still held onto a facade of happiness.

Anyway, just felt the need to write about something and appearance was brought to my attention this morning.

Have a good day, and thanks for reading =)

05/17/2012 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A letter to Love

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Love, on you, I’ve given up
          I tried to know you
          Tried to feel you
          I failed.
Love, I wish I never met you
          The way you make people feel
          its not fair
          although you are worth experiencing
Love, what have I done to you
          why do you treat me like you do
          are you worth my tears
          many tears I’ve cried for you
Love, I understand why people shy away
          why people run and hide
           the way you make people feel,
may not be worth the ride
Love, I’ve loved how I wanted to be loved
          but something about you
          I don’t do enough of
          so with you, I’m giving up…

          

05/11/2012 Posted by | Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Free

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Releasing the lock
breaking free, the chains that bind
I’ve loved, and I’ve lost

05/08/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sometimes I wonder…

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Do you know what it takes to keep me
the fights, the cries, thru hidden realities
sometimes I wonder…
Do you think about me, how I do you
adapted thoughts, and no clue
sometimes I wonder…
Is there more of you I don’t know
you’re quiet, silent, your thoughts don’t show
sometimes I wonder…
Is this love strong enough to last
will we explain us as a past
sometimes I wonder…
Does your heart belong to me
if so, its hard to see
sometimes I wonder…
Am I woman enough for you
will you ever look for something new
sometimes I wonder…
If I should be doing more
life with you is all I want to explore
sometimes I wonder…
What would you do if you lost me
would our love carry you through tragedy
sometimes I wonder…
Why do I feel so alone
I was promised love would be shown
sometimes I wonder…
Are you the man God had for me
are we to walk together in Christianity
sometimes I wonder…

05/08/2012 Posted by | Poetry, Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

The element of me

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Fire, passionate
romance, warmth, desire, wild
blazing intense love

05/07/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#23

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Here I am at work
Twiddling my thumbs, waiting
Come on 5 o’clock

04/27/2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#22

Somethings on my mind
A big role, like deja vu
Here we go AGAIN

04/20/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Love

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Love has come and gone
Irreplaceable love – found
Love has gone and come!

04/18/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

So much of me

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A big girl….yep that’s me
Always been a lil heavy
Thick and chunky
However, there’s more to me
Much more than what you see

Healthy thighs
Pretty brown eyes
Breasts impossible to hide
Hips, yea they’re wide

Always been big-boned
Since date of conception
My frame has definition
I’m curvy, did I forget to mention

Sometimes a little shy
Hiding under my clothes, I try
I want to feel beautiful in his eye
This is me, I can’t deny

Never had low self esteem
Even when people said things that were mean
Inside it hurt, you’ll never hear me scream
If not for one, someone else’s queen
His passion, his pleasure, his dream

Maya Angelou said it for me
“I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman…..that’s me”.

Plenty of women for you to see
Something about me, obviously
Maybe you were intrigued
Could it be curiosity

A big girl… Yep that’s me
Always been a lil heavy
Thick and chunky
However, there’s more to me
Much more than what you see…

04/13/2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

So true.

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I had to post this.
It’s a reminder for me.
My tongue can sometimes be so sharp.
Once its done the cutting, it leaves a scar.

04/11/2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Lost

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Dizzy, room spinning
Losing focus, where am I
Please help me……SAVE ME

04/11/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Title

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…blank…
as my thoughts change

mind thinking
thoughts changing
pencil sharpened
ink spilling
happy heart
heartbroken
full of love
empty
confident
clueless
a new leaf
history repeats
motivated
driveless
…blank…
again

as my thoughts change

04/06/2012 Posted by | Sharing My Thoughts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Haiku #15

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His eyes big and brown
Peaceful sleep, smiles throughout
I love my lil man…

03/19/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Haiku #13

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His secrets and lies
I love you, I really do
…It is what it is…

03/12/2012 Posted by | Haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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